My journey has been an unraveling of sorts, an unraveling of all sorts of misinformation and mistaken identities and perceived missed opportunities for freedom along the way. Because I was informed early on, as many of us were, that there was only “one way or the highway”, I finally gave into the system. The system that began at home with my parents who were still under the influence of the lack and limitations they grew up with, and onward and downward and outward to the system that ran the schools and churches, the political scene, and society as a whole. My inner dreams and aspirations didn’t match up with what was being presented to me so I did my best to numb out any way I could, through physical illnesses, depression, accidents of all kinds, sex, and drugs, and an assortment of other mayhem, but most of all, I just felt like this life was forced upon me and with the Life Force sucked out of me, I didn’t stand a chance.
“Take A Chance” Life says …
It has taken me most of this lifetime to take a chance on myself, to wake up to the realization that I did indeed come here by choice, and I remained by choice even though many a time it seemed that some outside force was forcing me to stay here when I wanted to give into the horrible feeling that something was undeniably wrong with this place that I called home. “Suck it up buttercup” life seemed to say to me, and all I did was go back and forth from one extreme to the other, either fantasizing about my own demise through personal destruction or making it to some better life somewhere ‘out there’. There’s gotta be a pony in here somewhere!
Curiouser and Curiouser
I believe it was Camus who said that suicide is the one truly serious philosophical problem. In every moment, to live or die is the only decision we are making. This resonates with me on so many levels. Ever since I can remember, I have felt this deep disappointment with life. Oh, certainly there have been moments of splendor but even those were fleeting and not based in real-life experiences, just a fantasized version of whatever might be happening or about to happen, and it never measured up. Always the potential of a good life dragging me along kicking and screaming. Thank God, aka Allness, curiosity has gotten the best of me, and for this, I am eternally grateful. For you see, I accept that I am here by choice and I made it through the circuitous route of the ongoing death and dying and resurrection cycle by choice, even though, as I mentioned earlier, it didn’t seem like I was making the decision to stay, to continue with this life for another chance at grabbing hold of the ever-elusive golden ring on the carousel.
With a deeper understanding of several near-death experiences, that I now refer to as “more life” experiences, and re-examining the many visions I have been gifted along the way, I have found myself freer than ever before. I have made peace with the past, allowing me the freedom to choose more life. The Golden Thread of my existence has been me getting back to the Truth that I am worth fighting for, and ultimately when I do stop fighting, and simply consciously choose the Good Life, the Good Life happens by default, and from this place, there are no faults.
The “no-fault” Zone
I truly am the Author of my own life, I do have everything within me to handle that which is before me, and I have a right to live my life as I see fit. And, in my experience, the degree to which my spiritual fitness is activated, I experience my Best Self more often than not. I have always had a sense of which way is up and which way is down and how to get to the sweet spot in the middle, but I didn’t fully trust myself, as I had early on deemed myself stupid, or not enough, for one reason or another. I am here on purpose and my purpose is to do something good with my life before I die. For me, this means contributing to the awakening of humanity in some way, shape or form, so that we all have a chance at the Good Life. This isn’t because I know what is best for you or anyone else; it is because I know what’s best for me. As I listen to Spirit’s Guidance and live from this place, I know we all have a better chance of a Good Life, not limited any longer to the survival of the fittest.
I am ready, willing, and able to do my part to live in a world more beautiful than we have ever imagined, a world that already exists in creation. And, “How”, I might ask, “am I going to do this?” One breath at a time, one moment at a time, one word, thought and deed at a time, one talk at a time, one transformation at a time. One moment to moment awakening at a time. You see, it really all does come down to each one of us doing and being what we come here for, to Be Love and Share.
The Good Life
Up until now, many of us have been dumbed-down and brain-washed to believe that the goal is to get more material goods, rather than share the Good, the Good that costs nothing. People (myself included) who have spent their lifetimes trying their hardest to achieve some measure of success, which has been equated to giving up their heart and soul, actually get a bit defensive when I mention that the goal has been misinterpreted. Since the time domination began, we have been vying for the space that is defined as success for a select few. Who the hell came up with the idea that walls and borders and hoarding and competing for goods was the way to the Good Life? What twisted mind wanted to dominate, and didn’t mind hurting others to get their own personal needs met and convinced others that greed was the way? Now, when these questions come up, I don’t even waste time tracing history back to see where the original backward ideas of competition and greed and warring come from, because I know this is a distraction from my purpose and a waste of my precious life energy. Now, I choose to use the moment for the gift that it is, the Present, creating on-going Good.
The Truth is, Truth is all around us, calling to us, speaking to us, showing us Infinite Ways, whether through the Big Book, or The Good Book, The Bhagavad-Gita, The Torah, The Wizard of Oz, Dr. Seuss, or Harry Potter. We are only always one decision away from Freedom, from living in a world in the Infinite Domain with no name, where all are freely sharing from the Inherent Overflow.
I invite you to stop for a moment and consider what the world would be like where everyone is a winner, and everyone has their needs met. Consider no longer taking everyone else’s inventory, and no longer meddling in other’s affairs. Consider keeping your hands to yourself, and respecting and honoring the divinity in one another, and the world as we’ve known it falls away. A new world where everyone thrives and lives a life of meaning and majesty becomes the order of the day, simply because we are each born, and this birth, in and of itself, is all the reason anyone would ever need for the Good Life.
Raison d’etre IS to Be as we each already are, nothing more, nothing less. Come as YOU Are, and allow the world to unfold from here as YOU go about Being YOU!
Ready, Set, Go, Love, as YOU ARE!